Confident Rider Tip – Managing the ‘What If’s’

Whether you’re suffering from ‘show nerves’ or are afraid to ride at all, you may have been told by your friends, your coach, or even said to yourself – “It’s just in your head”.  

"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed." Michael Pritchard

It’s true that fear exists in our brains.  There’s a perfectly natural and instinctive program that starts automatically when our brains believe we are in danger.  It’s meant to keep us safe and prevent us from doing things that could cause us physical harm.  The problem is that when it interferes with your enjoyment of riding or showing, then fear is no longer your friend.  

Your brain can’t tell the difference between a real or an imagined danger.  So, when we ‘think’ we might be hurt in some way, that fear alarm is triggered.  The perceived ‘hurt’ might be potential physical injury or emotional (i.e. embarrassment, judgment, etc.)

The good news is that you can take control and manage that fear – whether it’s a mild feeling of stress, a stronger anxiety or an out right shaking in your boots fear.  

You solve any problem at the root of it.  And, the root of the fear is in your head – your thoughts.  When fear controls your thoughts, you go into that negative spiral of the ‘what if’s’.  You ‘think’ that whatever you are about to do is not going to end well.    Riding becomes miserable instead of fun.

The good news is that you can influence your thoughts to build your confidence.  To control those show nerves. To have fun riding your horse.

Change your thoughts and you change how you feel.

Simple advice.  But most people struggle with it.  Take these 3 steps to do it successfully.

Step #1 – Be aware of what you are thinking and saying.  You have about 50,000 thoughts every day!  And you’re unaware of most of them.   As you go through your day, notice how often you use dis-empowering, negative phrases.

Perhaps some of these phrases sound familiar.

  1. “I don’t know what to do!”
  2.  “I’m stuck.”
  3. “This won’t work.”
  4. “This is too much for me.”
  5. “I’ll never get this.”

Notice the emotions you have when you are talking to yourself and to others.

Step #2 – Write down your thoughts.    Keep a journal (on paper or digitally) where you record your negative thoughts.  Write them down as soon as they happen (or as soon afterwards as you can) so that you can record them as accurately as possible.    Note what was going through your mind and what you were doing at that moment.   Also notice the emotions you were feeling.  What came first, the thought or the feeling?

You may find writing down negative thoughts and feelings is difficult.  You may prefer not to face them, feel afraid or even think they are stupid.  But, ignoring the negative thoughts and feelings won’t make them disappear – it just makes them stronger.  You’ll deal with them in the next step.

Step #3 – Flip those negative thoughts on their heads. Once you’ve recorded and become aware of your most common negative thoughts then you can re-write them into empowering phrases that build your confidence.   By changing a negative to a positive statement or question, you give your sub-conscious mind a problem to solve.  It loves solving problems.  So, it will go to work figuring out an answer.  You will move forward.  It will work. You will be able to handle it.  And you will get it.

Here are 5 more examples of confidence-breaking phrases and their confidence building alternatives:

“I’m afraid my horse will spook”  becomes  “I admit that I have a fear my horse will spook. What help can I get to work through this?”

“I hope I don’t fall apart in the show”  becomes “I have prepared myself and my horse well for this show.  We will do our best.”

“I can’t do what my coach wants me to do”  becomes “There’s something I’m not getting yet. I can ask for more help and I can practice more. I know I will get it eventually.”

“I’ll never get these transitions right” becomes “We’ve only been working on these movements  for a short time.  It takes time to get them consistently.”

 “I can’t afford riding lessons or training” becomes “This is something that’s really important to me.  I need xx dollars.  I just need to figure out a way to make that extra money.”

Taking these 3 steps may seem difficult at first.  But the more often you do it, the more natural it becomes.  Practice changing your thoughts to evoke positive emotions and your confidence will grow. 

Share your ‘what if’ and the positive alternative below.  Can’t think of a positive alternative? Post your negative thought & I’ll help you out.


Want more tips on Winning the Mental Game?  Join me on January 8, 2014 at 7pm EST for a free online video training – Confidence with Horses – 3 Actions To Take Now to Be More Confident in the New Year!  To register,  click here.


Free Shipping when you order my paperback book, Confident Rider Confident Horse, from Lulu.com by January 17th.  Use the code SHIPSHAPE14


 
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You’re welcome to use this article in your newsletter or blog as long as you notify me and include my credit information: ~ Written by Anne Gage, Confident Horsemanship (www.annegage.com).  
 
Anne Gage ~ Confident Horsemanship – Putting you and your horse in good hands.
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Confident Horsemanship – Welcoming a New Year

As we leave 2013 behind and enter a new year, I thought it appropriate to share my most popular blog post from the past year.

2014 Happy New Year

Confident Rider Tips – 7 Tips to Help Improve Your Riding by Improving Your Mindset.

I’ll be offering a free webinar in early January on the same topic.  To make sure you

receive details about this special event, join my mailing list by clicking here.

Wishing you all the best for the new year.  Enjoy your journey.

Enjoy your journey.

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My book is now available on Amazon.com! “Confident Rider, Confident Horse: Build Your Confidence While Improving Your Partnership with Your Horse from the Ground to the Saddle”.  Click here to order.

Let’s spread the word about a better way to work with horses.  Share this blog with 3 friends, send a Tweet or post a link on your Facebook page.  The horses thank you.Interested in organizing a clinic at your location? Click here for more information.

You’re welcome to use this article in your newsletter or blog as long as you notify me and include my credit information: ~ Written by Anne Gage, Confident Horsemanship (www.annegage.com).  

Anne Gage ~ Confident Horsemanship – Putting you and your horse in good hands.

www.annegage.com
www.facebook.com/ConfidentHorsemanshp
Facebook Group – Horseback Riding Solutions with Anne Gage
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Psst … There’s a Secret to Building Your Confidence with Horses (and Riding)

When I tell people that a few years ago I lost my confidence for riding, they usually have 2 reactions.  First, they are surprised to find out how scared I was (shaking in my riding boots scared).  Second, they want to know “If you were so scared, how did you get to be so confident now?”

Desire for successI won’t lie – it took a lot of work and it didn’t happen over night.  But, here’s the secret … the main reason I was able to regain my confidence was because my ‘why’ was stronger than my fear.  If I didn’t regain my confidence, I would have had to give up doing what I love best and find another way to make a living. 

I love teaching other horse lovers how to get the best out of themselves and out of their horses.  I love seeing them develop confidence, improve their skills and build better partnerships with their horses.  I love seeing the positive transformation of the human and the horse – together.

It takes desire, dedication and determination – and a lot of work –  to regain your confidence.  It takes courage to take even baby steps forward when you are ‘shaking in your riding boots scared’.  The more clear you are about WHY you want to be with or ride horses the more motivated you will be to do the work.

What’s your why?  It’s that one specific reason you want to be with or ride horses (or a particular horse).  Your ‘why’ might be so that you can enjoy spending time supporting your horse loving child or partner without feeling stressed or anxious. It might be that you want to be able to enjoy a trail ride in the woods or along the beach with your best friend.  Or maybe it’s because you want to be able to do your best in the show ring.

Whatever your why is bring it to life.  Write about it in your journal, create a collage about it or visualize it.  Be as detailed as you can possibly be using all five senses.  What do you feel?  What do you smell?  What do you hear? What do you see?  What will you gain?  How will your life better?  At least once a day read what you’ve written, look at your collage or run through your visualization like you’re watching a movie.

Keeping your ‘why’ in the forefront of your mind will give you the courage to push through the difficult times.  Those times when you just want to quit because it seems to overwhelming.  Those times when you don’t feel like you’re making any progress.

And, remember to recognize and congratulate yourself for the baby steps you make.  Any forward movement is good – it’s movement in the right direction.

You’ll get there – one (baby) step at a time.  I know you can.  Because I’ve been where you are and I did it.

Your Turn – What is your ‘why’ for wanting to be with or ride horses?  Share your thoughts in the comments below – you might inspire someone else.  

Share this post to spread the word about a better way to work with horses.  Enjoy your journey!

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There are lots more practical and in depth tips on improving your Confidence and your Partnership with your horse in my book “Confident Rider, Confident Horse: Build Your Confidence While Improving Your Partnership with Your Horse from the Ground to the Saddle”.   NOW AVAILABLE on Amazon.com!

 Interested in organizing a Confident Horsemanship clinic at your location? Click here for more information.

You’re welcome to use this article in your newsletter or blog as long as you notify me and include my credit information: ~ Written by Anne Gage, Confident Horsemanship (www.annegage.com).  

Click here to grab your FREE REPORT “The 3 Most Important Secrets You Need to Know to Develop Confidence with Horses”

Brought to you by Anne Gage ~ Confident Horsemanship – Putting you and your horse in good hands.   www.AnneGage.com

Are You Riding Your Horse By the Seat of Your Pants?

Video

A new student has recently started taking riding lessons from me.  She has taken riding lessons before. In her other riding lessons, she was trotting and even cantered once – sort of on purpose.

In her lessons with me, she is on a lunge line (well – the horse she is riding is on the lunge line). In my riding lessons, students stay on the lunge line until they are able to steer and control the horse without pulling on the reins.

My new student is finding this very different from her previous lessons. She used to pull the reins to steer.  But now she is noticing the connection between her body and the horse’s body. How the horse’s body moves and how her body moves with his movement when she releases tension from her muscles and joints. How she can steer and control the horse when she uses her seat and her legs in specific ways that work with the timing of the horse’s movement.  How the horse relaxes when she relaxes.

She is finding how wonderful riding feels when it all comes together.

And when you learn to ride this way – with an independent seat and reins that only act as boundaries – you can ride like Richard Spooner did in the video above.

When Mr. Spooner knew that he and his horse were in trouble he dropped his reins, followed his horse’s movement and trusted his horse to get them out of the mess safely. And, his horse had enough trust, balance and self carriage to get the job done.

That’s what trust looks like.

That’s what partnership looks like.

That’s what good riding looks like.

What would happen if you dropped your reins? Would your horse stay balanced and listen to your seat?

I would love to hear what the greatest challenge is that you are facing with your horse right now.  What challenges have you faced and overcome?  Share in the comments below.

If you want to work with me live and in person to learn more strategies and techniques for increasing your confidence, improving your horse’s behaviour and building a stronger partnership with your horse, visit my website or contact me about hosting a clinic or workshop at your location.

Enjoy your journey.

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My book is now available! “Confident Rider, Confident Horse: Build Your Confidence While Improving Your Partnership with Your Horse from the Ground to the Saddle”.  Click here to order.

Interested in organizing a clinic at your location? Click here for more information.

Let’s spread the word about a better way to work with horses.  Share this blog with 3 friends, send a Tweet or post a link on your Facebook page.  The horses thank you.

You’re welcome to use this article in your newsletter or blog as long as you include my credit information: ~ Written by Anne Gage, Confident Horsemanship (www.annegage.com).  

I would also appreciate it if you’d send me a copy for my media files.

Anne Gage ~ Confident Horsemanship – Putting you and your horse in good hands.

www.annegage.com
www.facebook.com/ConfidentHorsemanshp
Facebook Group – Horseback Riding Solutions with Anne Gage
www.twitter.com/AnneGage

Confident Rider #1 Tip ~ Breathe

The following post is an excerpt from my book ‘Confident Rider Confident Horse’:

“Breathe with Calm Focused Breath

I teach this technique to all of my students – and I use it myself.  When you’re stressed, anxious, or fearful, you breathe with short, shallow breaths, without any rhythm, and often even hold your breath.  This keeps those stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol) going through your body.  This is what makes you feel nauseous, shake and sweat.  Your heart pounds and your body tenses.  Your head aches. You go “fetal” – tipping forward in the saddle. None of these symptoms of stress are fun – for you or for your horse.  Horses are incrediblyTip 1 Breath sensitive to the body language and energy of the people around them.  They even mirror your breathing.  This is why your stress and tension can affect how your horse feels.  As soon as you recognize the first symptom of fear, changing your breathing is the fastest way to help you to feel more calm and confident. Try this breathing exercise:

  • Sit in a chair with your feet flat on the ground, your back straight and your chest open.  Let your hands rest gently on your lap.
  • Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth
  • Put one hand on your belly (at your navel) and the other hand on your chest
  • Focus on your breath
  • Count to 5 slowly as you inhale and feel your belly expand and then your chest lift slightly
  • Hold your breath for a count of 3
  • Exhale slowly for a count of 5.  Feel your chest drop and your belly deflate moving back towards your spine.
  • Your heart may pump a bit more to start with as it adjusts to the new way you are breathing.  It will soon pass and you will feel more calm and relaxed.
  • Repeat several more times – inhaling for a count of 5, holding for 3, exhaling for a count of 5 – feeling the movement your belly out as in inhale and in as you exhale.
  • Practice this new way of breathing as often as you can throughout your day.  Anytime you feel stressed or anxious, take a few slow, CALM FOCUSED BREATHS and notice how quickly you calm down.
  • The more you practice, the more natural it will feel.

This way of breathing allows your mind to slow down and relax. When you are in a relaxed state you’re better able to see things as they really are because you’re not experiencing the cluttered thinking caused by your emotions. With practice, you’ll be able to calm your mind using your calm focused breathing exercise any time. This practice allows you to respond to stressful events with a level head, and you’ll find that your emotions are less in control of you.  The next time you feel anxiety or fear creeping into your mind, remember that you have a choice.  You can react from your emotions and complicate the situation or you can respond in a way that encourages you and your horse to feel more calm and confident. With calm focused breathing, and the relaxation it brings, you’re always only a few short minutes away from the stress relief you crave. Instead of reacting negatively when you feel anxious or afraid, you’ll look for solutions and feel more confident.  The choice is always yours. In the meantime, take a few minutes today to practice your calm focused breath, clear your mind of its worries, and relax. Do the same tomorrow and the next day. Like physical exercise, the benefits of this breathing exercise are accumulative. The more you practice, the more benefits you’ll receive and the better you’ll become at staying calm and building your confidence.”

Adjusting your breathing can also help improve your performance – even when you aren’t feeling nervous.  The authors of the book, Perfect Breathing: Transform Your Life One Breath at a Time, interviewed people who push their bodies to the limits – professional athletes, dancers, fighter pilots, archers, astronauts, etc.   All of them use breathing techniques to focus their minds, keep their emotions under control and to get every ounce of performance from their bodies. 

Try the Calm, Focused Breath exercise and then share your experiences in the comments below.  Also, share any other breathing techniques you have found to be helpful in keeping you focused and calm, and enhancing your performance.

Enjoy the journey.

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My book is now available! “Confident Rider, Confident Horse: Build Your Confidence While Improving Your Partnership with Your Horse from the Ground to the Saddle”.  Click here to order.

Interested in organizing a clinic at your location? Click here for more information.

Let’s spread the word about a better way to work with horses.  Share this blog with 3 friends, send a Tweet or post a link on your Facebook page.  The horses thank you.

You’re welcome to use this article in your newsletter or blog as long as you include my credit information: ~ Written by Anne Gage, Confident Horsemanship (www.annegage.com).  

I would also appreciate it if you’d send me a copy for my media files.

Anne Gage ~ Confident Horsemanship

www.annegage.com
www.facebook.com/ConfidentHorsemanshp
Facebook Group – Horseback Riding Solutions with Anne Gage
www.twitter.com/AnneGage

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Your Horse is Your Gift

I received the following story in an email & thought it worth sharing.  If anyone knows the original author, please let me know so credit can be given.

Your Horse is Your Gift

To have a horse in your life is a gift. In the matter of a few short years, a horse can teach a young girl courage, if she chooses to grab mane and hang on for dear life. Even the smallest of ponies is mightier than the tallest of girls. To conquer the fear of falling off, having one’s toes crushed, or being publicly humiliated at a horse show is an admirable feat for any child. For that, we can be grateful.

Horses teach us responsibility. Unlike a bicycle or a computer, a horse needs regular care and most of it requires that you get dirty and smelly and up off the couch. Choosing to leave your cozy kitchen to break the crust of ice off the water buckets is to choose responsibility. When our horses dip their noses and drink heartily; we know we’ve made the right choice.

Learning to care for a horse is both an art and a science. Some are easy keepers, requiring little more then regular turn-out, a flake of hay, a bit of feed and a trough of 
clean water. Others will test you – you’ll struggle to keep them from being too fat or too thin.

You’ll have their feet shod regularly only to find shoes gone missing. Some are so accident-prone you’ll swear they’re intentionally finding new ways to injure themselves. 

If you weren’t raised with horses, you can’t know that they have unique personalities. You’d expect this from dogs, but horses? Indeed, there are clever horses, grumpy horses, and even horses with a sense of humor. Those prone to humor will test you by
finding new ways to escape from the barn when you least expect it.

Horses can be timid or brave, lazy or athletic, obstinate or willing. You will hit it off with some horses and others will elude you altogether. There are as many “types” of horses as there are people – which makes the whole partnership thing all the more interesting.
If you’ve never ridden a horse, you probably assume it’s a simple thing you can learn in a weekend. You can, in fact, learn the basics on a Sunday, but to truly ride well takes a lifetime. Working with a living being is far more complex than turning a key in the ignition and putting the car or tractor in “drive.”  In addition to listening to your instructor, your horse will have a few things to say to you as well. On a good day, he’ll be happy to go along with the program and tolerate your mistakes; on a bad day, you’ll swear he’s trying to kill you. Perhaps he’s naughty or perhaps he’s fed up with how slowly you’re learning his language.  Regardless, the horse will have an opinion. He may choose to challenge you (which can ultimately make you a better rider) or he may carefully carry you over fences – if it suits him. It all depends on the partnership – and partnership is what it’s all about.

If you face your fears, swallow your pride, and are willing to work at it, you’ll learn lessons in courage, commitment, and compassion in addition to basic survival skills. You’ll discover just how hard you’re willing to work toward a goal, how little you know, and how much you have to learn.

And, while some people think the horse “does all the work”, you’ll be challenged physically as well as mentally.  Your horse may humble you completely. Or, you may find that sitting on his back is the closest you’ll get to heaven. You can choose to intimidate your horse, but do you really want to? The results may come more quickly, but will your work ever be as graceful as that gained through trust?  The best partners choose to listen, as well as to tell. When it works, we experience a sweet sense of accomplishment brought about by smarts, hard work, and mutual understanding 
between horse and rider. These are the days when you know with absolute certainty that your horse is enjoying his work.

If we make it to adulthood with horses still in our lives, most of us have to squeeze riding into our over saturated schedules; balancing our need for things equine with those of our households and employers. There is never enough time to ride, or to 
ride as well as we’d like. Hours in the barn are stolen pleasures.

If it is in your blood to love horses, you share your life with them. Our horses know our secrets; we braid our tears into their manes and whisper our hopes into their ears. A barn is a sanctuary in an unsettled world, a sheltered place where life’s true priorities are clear: a warm place to sleep, someone who loves us, and the luxury of regular meals. Some of us need these reminders.

When you step back, it’s not just about horses – it’s about love, life, and learning. On any given day, a friend is celebrating the birth of a foal, a red ribbon, or recovery from an illness. That same day, there is also loss: a broken limb, a case of colic, a decision to sustain a life or end it gently. As horse people, we share the accelerated life cycle of horses: the hurried rush of life, love, loss, and death that caring for these animals brings us. When our partners pass, it is more than a moment of sorrow.

We mark our loss with words of gratitude for the ways our lives have been blessed. Our memories are of joy, awe, and wonder. Absolute union. We honor our horses for their 
brave hearts, courage, and willingness to give.

To those outside our circle, it must seem strange. To see us in our muddy boots, who would guess such poetry lives in our hearts? We celebrate our companions with praise 
worthy of heroes. Indeed, horses have the hearts of warriors and often carry us into and out of fields of battle. Listen to stories of that once-in-a-lifetime horse; of
journeys made and challenges met. The best of horses rise to the challenges we set before them, asking little in return.

Those who know them understand how fully a horse can hold a human heart. Together, we share the pain of sudden loss and the lingering taste of long-term illness. We shoulder the burden of deciding when or whether to end the life of a true companion.

In the end, we’re not certain if God entrusts us to our horses–or our horses to us. Does it matter?  We’re grateful God loaned us the horse in the first place.

Author Unknown

Anne Gage – The Confidence Coach
Helping horses & humans be better … together.
www.annegage.com
high.point.farm@gmail.com